Select a problem that is affecting today’s society

Select a problem that is affecting today’s society.  In true Jonathan Swift fashion, propose an absurd satirical solution to this problem that we are facing. Remember, even though Swift’s proposition is entirely satirical, he still uses persuasive strategies.  His arguments are logical, emotional, and ethical, just like those of the serious writer.  The difference is that you, like Swift, must make use of irony, as well as three of the following satirical devices: juxtaposition, dramatic irony, caricature, sarcasm, irony, or hyperbole.
Requirements:
A clear problem
An outrageous, satirical solution
4-5 paragraphs: introduction, at least 2 body paragraphs, conclusion
A clear, implied target of criticism
At least 3 satirical devices, including irony
Be absurd.  Be creative.
No Cannibalism - it's cliché
Task:
You will write a well-developed satirical argument, using various satirical devices in a way that indirectly criticizes the target of your criticism.
Don’t begin your introductory paragraph by stating your proposal. Instead, point out a problem you have noticed. 
Appeal to your reader for a need to listen to your proposal.
Next, state your outrageous proposal in as understated a tone as possible, and explain its “logic”
Provide supporting paragraphs that state the advantages of your proposal, and remember to use as many satirical devices as you can.
In your conclusion paragraph, ironically dismiss solutions that you make sound unreasonable, but are in fact the logical outcomes that you really support

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